Reflections of week 1/25/16 – 1/31/16
• Hate for working out
• Porter and my bed do NOT mix
• Gold star – one lunch date down
• Holding space for the vulnerability of others
• Best friend thanks
• This week’s emotional lesson
Guys…I seriously hate working out. The less I do it, the less I want to. A big part of this is because I am skinny-fat (totally out of shape). have no muscles, I’m so inflexible it hurts – literally, I hate sweating, and I hate washing my hair. I don’t get that post workout high. I went to my first Power Yoga class since the summer last weekend and I was actually ANGRY during the class. It was so hard and the instructor get repeating this quote about not giving up what you really want for what you want right now. Well what I wanted in that moment was to be done with the class. And I did. Not. Care. Ugh. So my conclusion is I need to find something I enjoy that isn’t labeled as working out. Maybe I need to go back to taking an adult hip hop class. Or maybe I can find a strength training program where I can like lift weights for 20 minutes and be done. I do want to try the spinning/TRX classes close to my house. That’s something I’ve never done and maybe I’ll magically fall in love with it. This is an area I need to follow my curiosity and just TRY things. And hey – I had full intention of going to a Yin yoga class today but it was canceled!
There is definitely a missing segment of the fitness market. So much is focused on weight loss. I don’t need to lose weight, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need to stay in shape! I’m not trying to be a body builder either, and I can’t join those transformation center 20lbs challenges. I hate running. Someone create something for people like me! Affordable, convenient, don’t get too sweaty, is fun, some kind of accountability…
This week Porter decided to repeat the number one violation in my house – puking AND peeing on my bed. He is LUCKY he is cute. On the plus side I found a laundromat that will wash the comforter for me. In fact, it’s there right now. I have no idea how much this is going to cost, but I’m just glad I don’t have to do it!
My gold star this week is I accomplished the first step of one of my goals and went to lunch with a coworker! I’m going to write about that in a separate post (See it here!) Andrea has been so supportive of this idea so I’m going to have her help me stay accountable.
Another gold star goes to my best friend for sending me this article this week. It was so nice to read it almost brought me to tears! I encourage you to send this to a special person in your life today. Let’s spread a little more joy out there in such an easy way!
And now for this week’s hard lessons:
- Helping someone else see that they deserve self-care and to stop the glorification of busy.
- Hearing someone totally insult my work ethic and abilities.
In the first scenario I’m finding that it’s hard for me to take the work I do on my own and bring it into the “real world” of every day life. Maybe I assume everyone else is on the same path as me – doing the work and wanting a better life. But that’s silly because I know they aren’t. I don’t even know if that’s what they want. So then I find that I might come off kind of pushy or lose that compassion in my advice. I fear I have a condescending or know-it-all tone. Should I even be giving advice? I want to listen, but I also want to encourage people to set boundaries and realize they deserve so much more out of life. I am working on this. It’s a practice. At the end of the day I know my intentions are good and I have to trust that the right words will be said. I hope the people in my life can sense that I really do care, a lot.
In the second situation my ego got bruised. I’m not going to go into detail about the specifics but my initial reaction was to be defensive of course. I was ready to go into attack mode. Somehow at the same time I was able to remind myself that there are other ways to look at the situation. What kind of worker am I? What do my coworkers and boss think of my work? What would they say about me? Is it possible someone was having a bad day and taking it out on me? Is it possible that this was a situation of deflecting their own vulnerability with blame? At the end of the day I was able to avoid shaming myself for this – yay! However, I still couldn’t stop replaying the tape in my head. I wanted so badly to not let this affect my mood for the entire night and sadly I lost.
“I seek a bigger life today. I cannot experience my full potential unless I’m willing to take risks.” – Marianne Williamson, A Year of Miracles
• At this point I should just expect to be on an emotional rollercoaster. It happens every week.
• I really want to find a way to make more money but not kill myself doing it. I almost paid over $900 for this Social Media Management course thing to make up a 6 figure income. THAT lady is a good sales person. I didn’t do it because my passion is not in being a social media manager for lots of companies. I need so kind of ah-ha in this area.
• Tomorrow is February 1st and that means California is just around the corner! Ahhh!